Ignorance

I've realized that the more education I receive, the more ignorant I feel. It's this dwelling sense of uncertainty you possess for the world once you know that nothing ever stays the same with time. The other day I read this article about how AIDS might not actually be caused by HIV, and after reading the evidence and arguments by various authorities, I could see their point of view. Who knows, maybe after a decade or so it'll be the accepted norm amongst the scientific community.

I got back from Dallas today. The interview went fairly well. The first lady was really nice and pretty much said "Welcome to UT Southwestern." The second guy was friendly, but a bit intense. He kept asking me these deep probing questions like "When do you feel most alive?" The interesting thing was that he was also into spoken word poetry and had been a fan back in the days in San Francisco. I don't want to move to Dallas, but I suppose if I don't get into Baylor I'll probably have to.

It's funny knowing your future is set, that you'll have 2.5 kids, a six figure salary, be upper-middle class and have your self-worth be completely dependent upon the frantic consumption of goods and services. On my drive back today, I kept day-dreaming about my life in ten years. Where I'll be. Who I'll be with. What I'll be like. I suppose some things are forever up in the air no matter how concrete your plans are.

As much as I say I dislike Dallas, I don't particularly enjoy Houston either. It's not home anymore. My dad is gone, my brother is gone. It's just my mom and I. Friends are hard to make. Life isn't a sit-com, but I think I already knew that, even in grade school.

I use to hate the fact that my blog entries are always so damn morose, but I suppose I've gotten quite use to it by now, accepted myself for who I am. You'll never catch me writing in my blog on a happy day. Well, maybe on a really happy day.