I've Always Wanted

I've always wanted to be a writer of life,
but I could never capture it
quite quick enough.
It always slipped out
through the cracks of my fingers or the
space between the thin blue lines.
So instead I thought,
fine. I'll become
a photographer of life,
but the shutter speed of my Canon K2
could never quite catch up
to the speed at which eternity seemed to move.
Even on the newer models,
one over infinitude was
never an option.
So I thought about hauling a
video camera atop my shoulders to
suck in the life through my lens's
widest aperture,
but like a Dustbuster sweeping
across the Sahara
she could hold only a tiny grain
of what I was after.
I mean, I could paste together the frames
and attempt to create some primitive slideshow
but it would never fully capture
those moments hidden
between guilt and excitement,
pride and shame,
joy and joylessness,
the instance bridging death and eternal peace,
and the
billion silent pauses piercing life, love,
and everything in between.