Dwindling vocabularic reservoir?

I can't help but feel that since the nascent months of my new life as a medical school slave, my rhetorical agility has deteriorated substantially.

Reminder to self. Write more. Study less.

Now that I have a more solid sense of my abilities, thanks to feedback from the first two tests, I feel as though I have a choice to make.

Do I commit myself to shooting for the top or take it easy and stay at within my comfort zone?

Normally, I'd think it quite conceited of myself to believe that the top strata of anything were within my reach. However, since we don't grade on a curve, it is possible, technically speaking, for everyone to be at the top, in which case, it'd be a plateau.

But I suppose it a futile effort to ask a question so specific to a decision so elusive in its formulation.

I imagine there will be times at which the ambitious ladder-climber within me will take rein, driving my will into the wee hours of a solitary Saturday night spent amongst lectures and lecture notes.

There will likely also be times at which the complacent joy-seeker within me demand that I heed the presence of my other needs. The needs I had before becoming committed. The ones whose moans and groans I now so often attempt to quell. The need to create, the need to wonder, the need to wander and find my way back only to get lost once more.

Sometimes I wonder when the line to greed truly begins.