Teen Music Video Indicates US High Schools Need Improvement in Literary Education

Roaming around the digital stacks of Youtube today I came across this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfGZ6mjliV4

At first glance, the artist resembled yet another pubescent teen idol getting too much attention and making too much money for his own good. Honestly, I'm of the opinion that if your life peaks at 16, you're setting yourself up for multiple life crises.

The topic of the song - retrieving the digits of a young female accompanied by her mother on a back-to-school shopping trip - could cater only to teenage males whose stomping grounds are lined by domino patterned tiles smeared with the grease of Wok-n-Go faux-Chinese. They hunt like young cubs eager to prove themselves in a savannah of plastic flora bound by turnstile entrances that spin the multichromatic sales posters into a whirlwind kaleidoscope. Ah, memories...

(The song, I suppose, could also appeal to the pedophiliac population, but I'd rather not steer my thoughts down such disturbing paths.)

Despite these idiosyncracies possessed by most teen artists and their productions, what caught my ear about "Mishon" here were, surprisingly, the lyrics of his song. I shall post them here for your edification.

I was at the mall on some back to school
Tryna cop me a couple pairs of shoes
And then I looked to my left and I lost my breath cause this girl was so fresh
I really wasn't tryna intrude
But she looked like the type I was into
And I wanted to holla but she was wit her mama
Felt like a catch twenty two

Really?

Did you really just make a reference to the greatest Joseph Heller novel ever written in your song about crushing on a girl you saw outside Limited Too?

And assuming you did, is it possible that you just totally F'd it up?

The answer to these membrane singeing questions, ladies and gentlemen, is a resounding yes.

If Mishon had actually read Joseph Heller's novel - or alternatively, if he actually had the talent to write his own songs - he would have noticed his gross misuse of the term catch 22.

Here is an explanation of the usage of Catch-22 as it was originally intended:

The prototypical Catch-22, as formulated by Heller, involves the case of John Yossarian, a U.S. Army Air Forces bombardier, who wishes to be excused from combat flight duty. In order to be excused, he must submit an official medical diagnosis from his squadron's flight surgeon, demonstrating that he is unfit to fly because he is insane. In order to get the diagnosis, he must approach the surgeon to ask for one.

However, “catch 22” — the twenty-second of the guidelines used by military surgeons to “catch” those falsely claiming to be insane — is that an insane person should not believe or suspect that they are insane. Thus, to be recognised as insane, a person must not ask for an evaluation, because doing so implicitly shows that they suspect themselves to be insane. But, if a person does not ask for an evaluation, they cannot be recognised as insane because the evaluation is the method by which such recognition would occur. Thus, nobody can ever classify themselves as insane (even if they genuinely are), and thus nobody may ever use an insanity diagnosis to escape flying combat missions.

(Compliments of Wiki)

It is, therefore, not a catch-22 when you are afraid to approach a girl for fear of the fact that her mother in the leopard print leotard will smack you three ways from Sunday. The situation is inherently devoid of logical fallacy, though brimming with vague potential for awkward tension.

I urge all US High Schools to perform an immediate and thorough inspection of the quality of their literary education.