The Smaller Side of Me

People are conflicted. I say this, of course, so as to not feel alone. I didn't want to start off with a sentence so presumptuous as "Since the dawn of time, men have...yada yada yada" since I'm sure that levels of male self-conflictedness have skyrocketed to unprecedented levels in the last century, mostly, I would guess, after the turning point in history when men began having to make choices between contraptions known as cars and well, everything else. But I speak here not of the conflict that plagues an indecisive shopper, but more so of the type that plays to the life goals, inner values, and all the things that line up in our forever rolling queue of insatiable wants. A classic example of this is Family vs. Career. Reasonable arguments can be made for favoring either one. Conventional wisdom holds that you must choose only one, as limited worldly resources, namely time, will prohibit a successful endeavor in both. Of course, one must then take into account the threshold of success and it's variability for different folks. And, let's be honest, if success is different for everyone then any distinctions or thresholds made by an individual would be arbitrary and meaningless. All that matters is how high you set the bar for yourself. Which brings me to my point. Set the bar low.

The older I get, the more I realize that happiness lies in ignorance. That, and there is an inverse correlation between intellectual and social capacity. The trick to happiness is - I think I've got it - to surround yourself with people like you and never ever talk to new people or try new things. Don't even watch new TV shows unless your whole crew decides that it's a good program. The idea is to mentally isolate yourself from anything unfamiliar that may cause confusion and panic. I have seen my grandparents do it all my life and they are now both in their 80s with their health intact. They may still be watching reruns from 30 years ago, but there's a certain comfort in knowing every line.

Also, smiling is the key. You have to smile at everything and everyone. If you smile often enough and long enough your mind will mistake it for happiness.